Do you still have your period?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
