Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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