she woke up with a sticky ear
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
