hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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