i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
