If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
