He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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