It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
