so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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