I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
