Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
