Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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