I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
