This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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