D3 body, D1 cock
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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