I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize