Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
