NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sext me about skeletons
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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