By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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