pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
