come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
