Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
