I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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