He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
