What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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