Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
