I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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