Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
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On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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