if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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