Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
