ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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