Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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