Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's JV to your varsity
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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