He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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