there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
