so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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