i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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