You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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