Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
