You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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