You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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