it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize