i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
why is half of my head shaved?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
