Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
