Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
