the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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