Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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