My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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