I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
