I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
