Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
