Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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