and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
