I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize