I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
