So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
