I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
