If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize