I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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