hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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