I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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