I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
