i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
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I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize