But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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