i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize